🔸
Name: lise
Age:
30sI mostly post about:
every day interactions, projects i’m working on, movies, mostly just my every day life! i’m probably going to start posting some photography too.My hobbies are:
photography, cinema, writing, art in general, cooking, reading, watching obscure films & shorts, learning italian, thrifting, collecting vhs tapesMy fandoms are:
not really in fandoms much, but some of my media interests include: horror (halloween series, five nights at freddy’s, no i’m not a human, giallo films, killer7, deadly premonition, etc), speculative fiction (kathe koja especially), psychological thrillers, internet ephemera, weird niches in general. i’m really into things like mannequins, dolls, masks, and animatronics as well.I'm looking to meet people who:
are artsy & weird! people who always have a project going (doesn’t have to art related - stem can be included here too), activists,My posting schedule tends to be: just returned to dw (lifelong online journal-er though) sand i am fairly busy so it’ll most likely be weekly
When I add people, my dealbreakers are:
not really anything besides the obvious! just be respectful & tag warnings appropriately :)Before adding me, you should know: i had a deadjournal since i was 11, i think that says everything about me hahaha
alierak (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
alierak) wrote in ![[site community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/comm_staff.png)
dw_maintenance2025-10-20 10:11 am
alierak) wrote in dw_maintenance2025-10-20 10:11 amAWS outage
DW is seeing some issues due to today's Amazon outage. For right now it looks like the site is loading, but it may be slow. Some of our processes like notifications and journal search don't appear to be running and can't be started due to rate limiting or capacity issues. DW could go down later if Amazon isn't able to improve things soon, but our services should return to normal when Amazon has cleared up the outage.
Edit: all services are running as of 16:12 CDT, but there is definitely still a backlog of notifications to get through.
Edit 2: and at 18:20 CDT everything's been running normally for about the last hour.
Edit: all services are running as of 16:12 CDT, but there is definitely still a backlog of notifications to get through.
Edit 2: and at 18:20 CDT everything's been running normally for about the last hour.
a_natural_beauty (a_natural_beauty) wrote2025-10-19 07:05 am
a_natural_beauty) wrote2025-10-19 07:05 am
Entry tags:
Landscaping project!
I don't think any of you - if some of you know it may be very few of you - but I live on a hill and its in the front part of my yard that my driveway goes up and around. This hill is somewhat steep and over the years I've had trouble mowing it. Lately because of the lilac bushes I planted spread out has caused my mower to get stuck as I go around them. That's been a pain to deal with not to mention all of the weed whacking I've had to do around each small bush now. Mike and I met a local guy who does all sorts of work with local farms, landscaping and educational related talks about native plants and editable plants of North East Ohio. He came to check out my yard and go over what I could do with this hill and we figured out for the area I want to be garden he would come back and help fill it with different plants for pollinators. He would charge $100 which I don't think is bad at all.
The lilac bushes have been doing alright - some are looking better than others. I planted some astilbes but they did not do well in the direct sun. So about a month ago I moved the astilbes into a shady area of my yard on the east side under some trees in a row as a boarder. I think they will do well there.
For the last several weeks I've been collecting cardboard from work and putting it down on my hill in a giant circle to kill the grass so come spring the plans can begin for the pollinator garden! With every piece of cardboard down I think to myself this will be a good plan! Less to mow, plants for nature and a rewarding feeling. This morning I'm going to get a bit more of it done - or hopefully if I have enough cardboard - I will get the whole area I want covered done! Fingers crossed! I'm grateful the weather has been nice to work in. Later today we are expected to get rain so I'm hoping to get it done before that happens. This has been a-lot of work but the reward will be nice in the end! Maybe more people will do more natural things with their yards as time goes on. One can hope!
The lilac bushes have been doing alright - some are looking better than others. I planted some astilbes but they did not do well in the direct sun. So about a month ago I moved the astilbes into a shady area of my yard on the east side under some trees in a row as a boarder. I think they will do well there.
For the last several weeks I've been collecting cardboard from work and putting it down on my hill in a giant circle to kill the grass so come spring the plans can begin for the pollinator garden! With every piece of cardboard down I think to myself this will be a good plan! Less to mow, plants for nature and a rewarding feeling. This morning I'm going to get a bit more of it done - or hopefully if I have enough cardboard - I will get the whole area I want covered done! Fingers crossed! I'm grateful the weather has been nice to work in. Later today we are expected to get rain so I'm hoping to get it done before that happens. This has been a-lot of work but the reward will be nice in the end! Maybe more people will do more natural things with their yards as time goes on. One can hope!
glowingfish (glowingfish) wrote2025-10-18 12:38 am
glowingfish) wrote2025-10-18 12:38 amI have not had a real home with a permanent address since...2023
This is more backstory! And it might sound worse than it is.
When I left my apartment in Corvallis, Oregon in September 2023, that was the last time I lived in a place where I had my name on a rental contract. I then lived in an AirBnB in Costa Rica for six months, with my mother in Montana for six months, back in the same AirBnB in Costa Rica for six months, and then I ended up in Spokane for six months. So that is two years of moving between places, and at no point was this a legal, guaranteed, signature on a contract living situation.
There are obviously a lot of people who are homeless and living a struggle day by day. I am not that. But I also don't have the comfort of having a guaranteed living situation. Right now I am renting from someone I know, but that could change any day. It makes things a little bit harder to arrange. Like, you know, I haven't changed my credit card billing to this address. And thus, some things on Amazon can't be delivered here. I haven't tried. And I don't know how long I can/will continue living here. Sometimes I get tired of it. But also, I don't know if I have another option.
Anyway. There is more back story.
When I left my apartment in Corvallis, Oregon in September 2023, that was the last time I lived in a place where I had my name on a rental contract. I then lived in an AirBnB in Costa Rica for six months, with my mother in Montana for six months, back in the same AirBnB in Costa Rica for six months, and then I ended up in Spokane for six months. So that is two years of moving between places, and at no point was this a legal, guaranteed, signature on a contract living situation.
There are obviously a lot of people who are homeless and living a struggle day by day. I am not that. But I also don't have the comfort of having a guaranteed living situation. Right now I am renting from someone I know, but that could change any day. It makes things a little bit harder to arrange. Like, you know, I haven't changed my credit card billing to this address. And thus, some things on Amazon can't be delivered here. I haven't tried. And I don't know how long I can/will continue living here. Sometimes I get tired of it. But also, I don't know if I have another option.
Anyway. There is more back story.
tipping my phrygian cap toward you in a cheerful greeting
Before adding me, you should know: that i am open to making friends with people who are very different from me! i think it's wonderful and healthy to be friends with people who have a different worldview from me, and i always try to be nice and respectful, even when i don't agree with someone.
basic info: tombstuck, mid 20s, missouri usa
basic info: tombstuck, mid 20s, missouri usa
gender and sexuality: bisexual, poly (not currently open to new partners), trans, enby, femboy, they/them
other identifiers: alterhuman, gnome/elf otherhearted
my vibes: silly, horny, friendly, excitable, odd and unusualI mostly post about: daily life, my current exciting interests, music, and fandom
My fandoms are: I read widely in any fandom if the summary and tags catch my eye, and if the author is a friend! my fandoms in particular are supernatural, homestuck, and marvel stuff (specifically spider-man right now). But I have a lot of other fandoms I'm less active in too.
I'm looking to meet people who: are interested in my writing and will listen to me yapping about it (i will do the same for others!), people who will interact with my journal entries... um, not a dealbreaker by any means but it would be nice to know some other alterhumans, therians, otherkin and things like that, because my brother is a therian, i'm otherhearted, and i don't know any other alterhumans at all.
My posting schedule tends to be: very sporadic! i just created my account recently so it's up in the air, but i plan on being here every day for the foreseeable future.
When I add people, my dealbreakers are: i'll add anyone who adds me, but i will probably remove them if i have personal issues with them after that.
i hope to hear from some of you soon!~
i hope to hear from some of you soon!~
Agnes (toothpastepancake) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
addme2025-10-17 02:49 am
toothpastepancake) wrote in addme2025-10-17 02:49 am(no subject)
Name: Agnes
Age: mid 20s
I mostly post about: personal stuff and fandom equally, also my creative projects (I'm a huge writer and artist!) I also talk about my tech projects and such. Health struggles & disability/mental health activism and destigmatization. Cooking. Life goings-on. My OCs. I'm trying to get back into using dreamwidth more, so I'd love to make some new friends!
My hobbies are: writing, digital art, watching tv, making video games, playing video games, crafting, thrifting, technology (mostly self-hosting and personal websites right now), cooking...
My fandoms are: I'm a huge science fiction fan, so right now it's Babylon 5, The Orville, Star Trek (mostly lower decks and star trek online), etc. Also super into Yellowjackets and Psych at the moment.
I'm looking to meet people who: don't mind my journal being a little all over the place, are kind and accepting, love science fiction, art, writing, tech, or making OCs, or creativity in general. People who are spiritual but queer-affirming, pro-choice and open-minded. People who like to talk and don't mind if I'm awkward. People who share my fandoms, especially my special interest which is currently The Orville. Other neurodiverse folks. Or anyone who is cool with the things I mention here!
My posting schedule tends to be: sporadic
When I add people, my dealbreakers are: Racism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, fatphobia. Please don't be a bigot. Also, I don't wish to add anyone who identifies as an "anti" or believes certain types of fiction should inherently be censored, and will unadd for this kind of behavior.
Before adding me, you should know: I have autism and dissociative identity disorder. These things make it a little hard for me to communicate, but I promise I always mean well. I also have memory issues.
glowingfish (glowingfish) wrote2025-10-15 01:54 am
glowingfish) wrote2025-10-15 01:54 amMy first real winter since 2022.
A bit of relevant backstory:
From October of 2023 to March of 2024, I was in Costa Rica.
From October of 2024 to April of 2025, I was in Costa Rica again.
In between, I did experience a few places with cold. But not the middle of winter, and not long, long dark hours.
So right now, I am preparing myself for both. I am in Spokane, and we had our first frost, and daytime temperatures are hovering around 10C/50F. And it is getting dark earlier and earlier. Before long, we will be in the middle of winter...and all I will want to do is sleep and eat.
Lets see how I adjust to that...
From October of 2023 to March of 2024, I was in Costa Rica.
From October of 2024 to April of 2025, I was in Costa Rica again.
In between, I did experience a few places with cold. But not the middle of winter, and not long, long dark hours.
So right now, I am preparing myself for both. I am in Spokane, and we had our first frost, and daytime temperatures are hovering around 10C/50F. And it is getting dark earlier and earlier. Before long, we will be in the middle of winter...and all I will want to do is sleep and eat.
Lets see how I adjust to that...
a_natural_beauty (a_natural_beauty) wrote2025-10-13 06:46 am
a_natural_beauty) wrote2025-10-13 06:46 am
Education and planning on hold for a bit
Talk of death, green burial, cremation and donating bodies are going to be talked in this post - so be aware.
I'm not sure if I posted about this before - but close to a month ago Mike and I went to view our first green burial center. It's called Foxfield and is a lovely place. It's two hours away and is the closet one. There was another one I was in contact with that is a part of a college - it was a bit more expensive and a bit further west for us. While there I felt hopeful this is what I could do when I pass away - just be a part of nature and give my body back to the earth. I think others in our tour group felt the same way, too. I liked the parrie option more than the forest one.
Soon I was in contact with other funeral homes in the area to compare prices and see how much general services would cost to have my body cleaned up and then shipped down to Foxfield and the prices were terribly high. That's on top of the price of buying the plot and services that would be at Foxfield and I was looking at a scary amount. Places offered payment plans but even so I was looking at a-lot more money than I thought I would spend. I think it was foolish on my part. Right now I am in a place where I can't be careless with money because I still have some repairs on my house that need done. And some expenses in the near future - like dental work that my insurance isn't completely covering.
So these plans for now are on hold. I did look into one option that I'm leaning towards more and more which is donating my body to a medical school. Ohio State University has that as an option and I looked over the site a bit. It would be a much cheaper way to do things and I would be giving my body back to a cause - helping medical students how ever they may need to do it. My main requests are that I don't want to be pumped full of chemicals and viewed by my loved ones. Nothing against those who have that be their final wishes but I just would rather have those who knew me remember me for when I was living and not like that. I don't even wear makeup so the idea of being kept preserved to be viewed and touched and cried over by those in my life seems weird. Un-natural comes to mind. There is also the choice of being cremated which is the most popular choice currently. I could do that but also the idea of being all burnt up like that just makes me sad. I have a fear of fire and feel like that wouldn't be a good way for me to go. But again - all the more power to those who want that!
Currently I am working on my will at least. I actually am meeting with two different attorneys nearby and today is a phone meeting and the other on the 23rd I'll be meeting with in person. And I have read the papers for my living will - I just need to fill it out. So things are going a different course. I have talked to Mike and I have a plan for what I would like done when I am gone to an extent. But talking to these professionals will help with what I need to do going forward.
I'm not sure if I posted about this before - but close to a month ago Mike and I went to view our first green burial center. It's called Foxfield and is a lovely place. It's two hours away and is the closet one. There was another one I was in contact with that is a part of a college - it was a bit more expensive and a bit further west for us. While there I felt hopeful this is what I could do when I pass away - just be a part of nature and give my body back to the earth. I think others in our tour group felt the same way, too. I liked the parrie option more than the forest one.
Soon I was in contact with other funeral homes in the area to compare prices and see how much general services would cost to have my body cleaned up and then shipped down to Foxfield and the prices were terribly high. That's on top of the price of buying the plot and services that would be at Foxfield and I was looking at a scary amount. Places offered payment plans but even so I was looking at a-lot more money than I thought I would spend. I think it was foolish on my part. Right now I am in a place where I can't be careless with money because I still have some repairs on my house that need done. And some expenses in the near future - like dental work that my insurance isn't completely covering.
So these plans for now are on hold. I did look into one option that I'm leaning towards more and more which is donating my body to a medical school. Ohio State University has that as an option and I looked over the site a bit. It would be a much cheaper way to do things and I would be giving my body back to a cause - helping medical students how ever they may need to do it. My main requests are that I don't want to be pumped full of chemicals and viewed by my loved ones. Nothing against those who have that be their final wishes but I just would rather have those who knew me remember me for when I was living and not like that. I don't even wear makeup so the idea of being kept preserved to be viewed and touched and cried over by those in my life seems weird. Un-natural comes to mind. There is also the choice of being cremated which is the most popular choice currently. I could do that but also the idea of being all burnt up like that just makes me sad. I have a fear of fire and feel like that wouldn't be a good way for me to go. But again - all the more power to those who want that!
Currently I am working on my will at least. I actually am meeting with two different attorneys nearby and today is a phone meeting and the other on the 23rd I'll be meeting with in person. And I have read the papers for my living will - I just need to fill it out. So things are going a different course. I have talked to Mike and I have a plan for what I would like done when I am gone to an extent. But talking to these professionals will help with what I need to do going forward.
a_natural_beauty (a_natural_beauty) wrote2025-10-13 05:34 am
a_natural_beauty) wrote2025-10-13 05:34 am
Entry tags:
I'm still here ~
Gosh, it's getting close to I think a month since I was last on here... sorry guys... I hope all of you have been doing well. I'll be writing some updates on different subjects as things have been going on in my life. Nothing horrible but I've just had the typical case of 'I don't feel like turning on my laptop'. I'll check out the reading page and see what you all have been up to.
serafaery (serafaery) wrote2025-10-12 02:02 pm
serafaery) wrote2025-10-12 02:02 pmFinch
Things my Finch app has helped me with:
* getting out of my youtube addiction
* taking supplements daily
* physical therapy daily
* teeth brushing daily (this used to upset me so much, missing this basic task so often)
* reaching out to friends more often
* appreciating the beauty around me in small quiet moments
* reading
* getting 10 min of natural light in the mornings outside
* taking permission for rest breaks
* accepting myself where I am at in the moment
* regularly revisiting favorite memories
* breaking through blockages to do hard things like fill out closing document forms and other hard things
* staying consistent with hormones
* red light therapy, skin care and such
Things the app has yet to impact much:
* work procrastination/avoidance
* housework (it helps a tiiiiiny bit, I need some heavy lifting, here)
* snacking (seemed like it helped for a moment but now not so much)
* evening walks (again, it seemed like it helped the first week and now not so much, maybe I need a different schedule or phrasing on the goal to try to trigger this to happen)
* bank runs
* overall mood (remains unchanged)
* grief (no help at all whatsoever as far as I can tell)
* guilt and discomfort over family dynamics with my brother and step-fam
* exercise
* showering more frequently (maybe once or twice has it helped with this)
* staying on top of car maintenance
* creativity or art, writing or decorating, very little of this is happening, still
Just reflecting. I'm grateful for everything it is helping with!
* getting out of my youtube addiction
* taking supplements daily
* physical therapy daily
* teeth brushing daily (this used to upset me so much, missing this basic task so often)
* reaching out to friends more often
* appreciating the beauty around me in small quiet moments
* reading
* getting 10 min of natural light in the mornings outside
* taking permission for rest breaks
* accepting myself where I am at in the moment
* regularly revisiting favorite memories
* breaking through blockages to do hard things like fill out closing document forms and other hard things
* staying consistent with hormones
* red light therapy, skin care and such
Things the app has yet to impact much:
* work procrastination/avoidance
* housework (it helps a tiiiiiny bit, I need some heavy lifting, here)
* snacking (seemed like it helped for a moment but now not so much)
* evening walks (again, it seemed like it helped the first week and now not so much, maybe I need a different schedule or phrasing on the goal to try to trigger this to happen)
* bank runs
* overall mood (remains unchanged)
* grief (no help at all whatsoever as far as I can tell)
* guilt and discomfort over family dynamics with my brother and step-fam
* exercise
* showering more frequently (maybe once or twice has it helped with this)
* staying on top of car maintenance
* creativity or art, writing or decorating, very little of this is happening, still
Just reflecting. I'm grateful for everything it is helping with!
glowingfish (glowingfish) wrote2025-10-08 11:01 pm
glowingfish) wrote2025-10-08 11:01 pmI keep on moving around
I keep on moving around, I am back in Washington State.
I find it hard to make connections.
I find it hard to make connections.
serafaery (serafaery) wrote2025-10-08 05:24 pm
serafaery) wrote2025-10-08 05:24 pmghost season
I hit a wall on my list of things to do today while driving around like a madwoman trying to get it all done and realizing I was dangerously overdue for an oil change. I got that done but it was SLOW and I was just done after that.
Lots of documents to go through for the house but we're chipping away at it, look at us, being adults together.
I think because of the house buying process, because of my mammogram tomorrow and my friend's breast cancer not responding to chemo, remembering my mom's house getting foreclosed on, watching her lose everything and become a ward of the state with alcohol-induced dementia, and then having to escort her through endometrial cancer radiation and surgeries, the childlike nostalgia I have over the changing weather and Halloween, I just hit a tsunami of unbearable grief, in the midst of all the errands, today.
( dreams )
...
Missing my mom suddenly and devastatingly, today.
I miss my dad, too. He died 25 years ago.
I miss what it felt like to have grandparents, as a small child (my dad's parents were no longer living when I was born, but my mom's were around when I was little.)
Wishing for a relative to laugh/cry over the osteo-arthritis in my hands commonly termed "Mommy Thumbs," while never having had the chance to be a mommy.
There are many blessings in my life. But also many gaping black holes of loss that I sometimes stumble into, unaware, unexpectedly, and then I'm lost in the dark for a few moments/hours/days.
I think I have a ghost child who has unintentionally injured my hands with her invisible yet chronic neediness. Maybe she made friends with Lunar, who has haunted our apartment since his death. I don't believe in ghosts, not even cat ghosts, but that doesn't change the fact that Lunar is haunting this apartment.
Lots of documents to go through for the house but we're chipping away at it, look at us, being adults together.
I think because of the house buying process, because of my mammogram tomorrow and my friend's breast cancer not responding to chemo, remembering my mom's house getting foreclosed on, watching her lose everything and become a ward of the state with alcohol-induced dementia, and then having to escort her through endometrial cancer radiation and surgeries, the childlike nostalgia I have over the changing weather and Halloween, I just hit a tsunami of unbearable grief, in the midst of all the errands, today.
( dreams )
...
Missing my mom suddenly and devastatingly, today.
I miss my dad, too. He died 25 years ago.
I miss what it felt like to have grandparents, as a small child (my dad's parents were no longer living when I was born, but my mom's were around when I was little.)
Wishing for a relative to laugh/cry over the osteo-arthritis in my hands commonly termed "Mommy Thumbs," while never having had the chance to be a mommy.
There are many blessings in my life. But also many gaping black holes of loss that I sometimes stumble into, unaware, unexpectedly, and then I'm lost in the dark for a few moments/hours/days.
I think I have a ghost child who has unintentionally injured my hands with her invisible yet chronic neediness. Maybe she made friends with Lunar, who has haunted our apartment since his death. I don't believe in ghosts, not even cat ghosts, but that doesn't change the fact that Lunar is haunting this apartment.